Engaged, Now What?

Now that you’re engaged, you likely have a million ideas running through your head. Many times, what starts as a very exciting process, becomes an overwhelming and stressful situation. This time should be enjoyed so we have a few tips that will help you navigate and get the most out of being newly engaged.

How Early is Too Early?

It's never too early to start the ground work of wedding planning. Getting a head start will help avoid some feelings of being overwhelmed and stressed. After doing the ground work, the next step should be to hire a planner, because you don't know what you don't know. Most people plan a wedding once in their lives; whereas we plan events every day. Keep reading to see what ground work we are talking about.

Tell the People

I know you’re over the moon. This is probably the most excited you have been in your life. You have found your soulmate and you are ready to tell the world that you are getting married. Depending on your family dynamics, you likely will want to hold off on telling the world until you tell those closest to you. Many times that will be your parents, grandparents, children, siblings and life long friends. After those people are looped in, now you can post on social media, if that’s your thing. We suggest getting professional photos taken within a few days to really make a statement, if your fiancé didn’t hire someone to capture this moment or if you ugly cried the entire time lol.

Priorities + Wedding Style

Now that it’s official and your loved ones know, I want you to lean into some of that newly engaged bliss and have fun. Sit down with your fiancé and make a list of priorities. Make sure you account for the elements that are most important to you, the one’s that are most important for them and see what you agree on. Don’t be surprised if you don’t value all the same things when it comes to having a wedding. Many times one person may really care about having amazing entertainment and the other person cares very much about the aesthetics. This is not uncommon, so start with a list and find the common ground and work your way down from there. While you’re at it pop on over to Pinterest or IG and start saving photos that resonate with the wedding you’d like to have, this will help when it’s time to talk money.

Guest Count

You’ve gotten a little bit of that excitement out by channeling it into a fun wedding planning task when you narrowed down your priorities and started to find your wedding style. Now we need to do a little hard work. Simultaneously you will want to begin discussing how many people you plan to invite and how much money are you comfortable spending for this event. The best way to do this is to actually make a tentative list starting with your immediate family and working all the way down to your co-workers/collogues. If the list feels to big, start to make an “A” list - these are the people you are without a doubt inviting and a “B” list - if room allows for it, you’d like to have these people attend your wedding.

Financial Comfort Zones

In addition to guest count, you need to talk about money. This is when people struggle because they don’t know what they don’t know. They’re not sure how much things cost, are the numbers they are throwing out realistic, can they actually afford to have the wedding they really want. I always give the analogy of an anniversary date. This will likely be a nicer date than your standard date night. Imagine going to a nice restaurant and ordering 1 shared appetizer ($16), 2 delicious entrees (maybe a 8oz filet for $75 and the chicken saltimbocca $62), you both have your own dessert ($14 ea./ totaling $27) and 2 drinks each ($12 ea./ totaling $48).That could easily cost $228 before gratuity and taxes. By the time you settle up you chances are you’re spending $300. That is $150 per person and that does not include your attire, hair or makeup, nails or anything else that you put into this special night.

Remember, how much you want to spend if very different from how much you can afford. Know that weddings are expensive and we don’t believe you should go into debt to have one so we emphasis the term financial comfort zone because our focus is on how much you comfortably want to spend.

Pick a Date

This is not a one and done. We suggest choosing 2-3 dates you would like to have your wedding on. We tell clients if you don’t have a venue, then you don’t have a set date. Because no matter how much you love that date, if the venue is not available you have to make a tough decision about what matters more - the location in which you have the wedding or the date that the wedding takes place on. This is also why we have you discuss priorities first, so you know what matters more to you. The reality of the decision will still be tough but trying to weigh date vs location becomes much easier when we know where they fall on your priority scale.

Find a Planner

This is where my job comes into play. Some people follow our work well before they get engaged, because they have a good feeling that the special day is coming soon and they know they want to work with us. Others come to us from referrals, venue recommendations or Instagram and Google searches. No matter the avenue you take to find a planner, I suggest hiring one first. Yes, of course I am biased, but with good reason. I’ve seen what happens to the big picture when you don’t have a planner from the start. The biggest mistake that people make is hiring vendors that don’t 100% align with the wedding they want to have. Yes, the work is good and yes you probably love their work, but does it compliment your style? Does it align with your financial comfort zone? Do you even know how much you can comfortably spend per vendor to stay on target with numbers?

Some people choose their venue first and then select vendors (including planners) that have worked at the venue. Can I be honest with you? That’s not the best idea - what if your venue has a minimum spend that does not agree with your priorities. Example: Your financial comfort zone is $65,000 your venue’s min. spend is $20,000 plus gratuity and tax - which likely becomes $26,000 and that is the minimum. Please know if that is the minimum - then their food and alcohol will be priced in a way to easily hit that number and then some.

To make a well educated decision research planner’s who’s work align with your wedding style. See if their process for planning seems agreeable with your lifestyle. And decide if the investment is worth the experience and peace of mind. These are just a few ways that we believe can help you maximize the bliss of being engaged. Please feel free to email us with questions or any suggestions you have that helped in navigating your engagement.